U Got Owl
by Misty Zoe
Summary: What happens when Hermione Granger joins a blind date service.
1. Lonely Hearts Dating Club and Blind Date...

U Got Mail

CHAPTER 1

"Virginia Weasley!"

A loud thunderous voice could be heard across the whole apartment. But Ginny, who was busy typing documents on her computer laptop, was completely unaware of the loud ruckus. She had earphones plugged on both ears, as she listened to her favorite band. The door to her room opened with a loud bang, she look up just in time to see a livid, red-faced, Hermione.

"Something wrong, Hermione?" Ginny asked innocently but her voice contained amusement, as she unplugged one earphone. Hermione stood in front of her, hands on her waist, looking like she wanted to strangle Ginny with her bare hands. She angrily waved a letter up close to Ginny, almost shoving it to her face.

"Can you please tell me that you don't have anything to do with this?"

Ginny with an amused glint in her eyes, took the letter and silently read it. Her lips twitched into a slight smile but she said nothing. She, along with Harry, Ron, Fred and George shared this apartment with Hermione for almost two years now. Which is why, she had pretty much mastered Hermione's moods. And judging from Hermione's looks, Ginny could tell how mad she was at that moment.

"Well?" Hermione asked, thoroughly exasperated.

"This letter," began Ginny, who was now grinning from ear to ear, "merely states that you are now officially a member of the Lonely Hearts Dating Club." Still grinning, she looked up at Hermione. "So, what's the big deal?"

Hermione was not at all amused by Ginny's reaction. She glared furiously at Ginny, who suddenly burst into fits of laughter. "It's not funny, Ginny. Not funny at all."

Ginny was so overwhelmed by laughter that she nearly choked as she tried to say something.

"Ginny," Hermione hissed furiously, "if you don't stop laughing, I swear-"

"It's not Ginny's fault. It's our brilliant idea!"

Hermione whirled around to see Fred Weasley standing at the doorway. He was leaning on the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest with a mischievous look on his face.

"Fred-" Hermione began saying.

"It would really be fun, Hermione," Fred said, placing his arm around her. He winked at her, and playfully wrapped a strand of brown hair around his index finger. "Just imagine how many single guys you would be able to meet?" he said, chortling with laughter. Right then, Hermione jabbed her elbow down his ribs hard. "Awww! That hurts, Er-My-knee."

"That wasn't funny, Fred," she said, looking daggers at him. She stormed off the room, and slammed the door with such force that the walls shook.

Inside her room, Hermione flopped into the bed, with her fist curled into a ball. She was boiling mad, and she wanted to think how to get back at Fred. "That jerk. I'll get you for this," she muttered darkly.

Crookshanks jumped into the bed and purred loudly for attention. "Oh, Crookshanks," she said softly, her anger started to fade a little as she stroke Crookshanks gently.

The door creaked open, and Ginny peered warily,afraid that Hermione might throw something at her. She was right. An object suddenly came flying right at her, she quickly duck. It missed her by an inch.

"Oops," Hermione exclaimed. "I thought you were that scumbag, Fred."

"It's okay." Ginny giggled, as she curled up next to Hermione on the bed. "Fred's in the kitchen, cooking your favorite soup. You know, to try sweeten your mood."

Hermione gave an angry snort. If Fred thought making her favorite soup would allay her anger. '_He had to think again,_' she thought angrily.

"Hey. What's up with my two favorite girls?" a warm voice said from the doorway. They both looked up to see Harry grinning at them.

"Harry!" they both shouted in unison and jumped from the bed and hugged him excitedly.

"I thought you won't be coming back til next month," chirped Ginny, her eyes lit up with happiness.

"Hi, Harry!" greeted Hermione, smiling for the first time.

Harry kissed them both on the cheeks, then flopped on Hermione's bed. His eyes caught a crumpled letter on the bed. "What's this. A love letter?" he asked curiously.

Hermione made to grab the letter but Harry stood up and quickly scanned the contents of the letter. His eyes widened, then he burst into fits of amused laughter.

He grinned at Hermione, who was now scowling openly, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Then he glanced at Ginny, who was already sitting on the bed next to Hermione, stroking Crookshanks affectionately. "You knew about this?" he asked, and seeing the expression on her face, knew the answer already. He lie on the bed next to Hermione's left, his arms over his head. "So whose idea was it? Fred's or George's?" he asked, his tone, clearly bemused.

"It was both our idea," a cheerful voice floated outside the doorway. It was George. He snuck his head by the doorway, knowing fully well what was to come next. True enough, a pink stuffed bunny came sailing across the room and nearly smacked George's face. He was wise enough to duck. Next came, a brown teddy bear, followed by a medium sized Garfield stuff toy. The toys fell on the carpeted floor, not one managed to hit the target.

A few seconds later, George waved a white kerchief into the air as a sign of peace. He was chuckling when he entered the room. He flopped next to Harry, and nudged him on the elbow. "You're back early," George said to Harry.

"Had nothing better to do," Harry answered, nonchalantly.

Ginny crinkled her nose and said, "Hey, this is getting a little too crowded in here!"

George ignored Ginny's loud comment and glanced at Hermione, judging her mood. As it was, Hermione was still glaring at him. He grinned at her apologetically. "C'mon, Hermione. Don't get mad. We were only thinking of you."

"Oh really," snorted Hermione, giving him another deadly glare. "If you had forgotten, you two were also the genius behind that Christmas blind date last year!" she nearly shouted.

This time, Ginny, Harry and George all doubled up with laughter as they remembered what happened to that disastrous date. Enraged, Hermione pushed all of them down the carpeted floor. Hands on hips, she glared at them. "Will you three stop laughing? Just forget it, okay?" she said angrily._ 'Me and my big mouth!'_ she cursed herself for bringing that up.

Harry, who was holding his stomach from laughing too much, said, "But it was really funny, Hermione. Admit it."

Hermione didn't answer. She had been the butt of jokes for months, after it turned out that her blind date who described himself as mature, handsome and eloquent, turned out to be former Professor Gilderoy Lockhart. It was a real shock seeing the ultra vain but admittedly attractive older man, standing in their doorway with a huge bouquet of flowers in his arms. Because she used to have a school girl crush on him,she had decided to push through with the blind date. But she got bored to tears when he droned on and on about what else but himself. She kicked him hard on the shins when he wanted to kiss her on the lips.

Ginny chimed in, "At least Colin Creevey's cousin was cute."

Hermione looked furiously at Ginny.

"And you call yourself, my friend?" she hissed at Ginny, red-faced with anger.

How could she forget. Ron had set her up for a date with Colin Creevey's cousin, Jake. Yeah, he was cute alright. Up until he intentionally splashed champagne all over her lovely but very pricey body hugging cocktail dress. The jerk had not been content in simply ogling her chest, he even forcibly kissed her. She hadn't spoken with Ron for six months and it took three dozen white roses and five long sorry notes before she forgave Ron.

George gave one last chuckle before he sobered his expression. "Hermione, we just don't want you moping around and waiting for Sea-"

"I know," Hermione said, cutting him off. "It's just that setting me up in blind dates and listing me in dating club might not be all that helpful," she said softly. She knew deep inside that they all didn't want her to be sad and pine for a guy who already had someone else.

She stood up and leaned over to George and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I know you care about me. But this is really getting a little overboard," she said. Then she got back on her bed, looking thoughtful but at least no longer angry.

All of them fell silent. Harry glared at George angrily. They all had an unspoken agreement not to mention that name again most specially when Hermione's around. She had gone steady with him since their seventh year in Hogwarts. It was obvious she's still not over him yet.

Hermione saw the pity in their eyes. She pursed her lips determinedly. _'I'm over him.'_ With that thought she forced a tight smileand faced them."C'mon. I'm hungry. Let's go and see what Fred's cooking in the kitchen."

They all headed down the kitchen in a comfortable silence. Out of the blue, Ginny speak out, "Can Hermione back out of that Dating Club?"

All three of them looked at George, waiting for his answer. George eyed them nervously. "T-t-that I think, only Fred knows the answer," and dashed towards the kitchen.

"GEORGE WEASLEY!" the three of them shouted then chased after George.


	2. Ron's new look, goatee and leather pants

U Got Owl

CHAPTER 2

George was the first one to reach the kitchen. Fred was in the midst of pouring the soup to a blue bowl, when he saw George come in, gasping for breath. "Who're you're running from?" he asked with a grin.

George had barely sat down at the table, when Harry, Hermione, and Ginny entered the kitchen loudly. George tried to look as innocent as possible.

"George, you were saying?" asked Harry, eyeing him directly.

George busied himself making a rose out of a table napkin. "Hey, Fred, that smells delicious," he said, trying to change the subject.

Fred smiled and said, "Thanks, but it would be your turn to cook starting tomorrow."

George groaned. He love to eat but absolutely hated cooking.

Ginny groaned as well. "George's going tocook again? Let's just eat out or order a pizza instead."

Hermione agreed vocally.

"Hey, what's wrong with my cooking!" said George, trying to look hurt. He was obviously relieved that the subject about the dating club seemed to be forgotten for the moment.

"Gin, could you be a sweetheart and set the table?" asked Fred.

Ginny smiled. "Oops, I forgot it's my turn this week to set the table."

Hermione wanted to help but was told by Ginny, "To just sit and relax."

"Two hands are better than one, Ginny," Hermione insisted.

Ginny grinned. "Since you insist, alrighty then."

"Hey, what's that delicious smell?"

They all turned around and saw Ron, his normally red hair now bleached platinum blond and very spiky.

"Ron!" Ginny shrieked out loud.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO WITH YOUR HAIR!" shouted Harry, Fred and George in unison.

Hermione shook with laughter at the sight of Ron, who looked absurd and funny.

Ron ignored the three, who gaped dumbfounded at his new look, and kissed Ginny on the forehead then went to sit next to Hermione. He ruffled her hair affectionately and made it all messy.

"Hey, I just fixed my hair!" said Hermione, with a smile on her face. "What exactly happened to your date with Susan?" she inquired cheekily, nudging him with her elbow.

Ron leaned over the bowl and inhaled deeply. "Hmm, smells good." He rubbed his stomach then said laughingly, "She dared me to bleach my hair blond and just maybe she'd go steady with me."

This time two bright spots appeared in his cheeks. This announcement was met by loud catcalls and jeering from Fred, George, and Harry.

George thumped the table with his fist. He was laughing so hard, he nearly fell from the chair; he couldn't even say a word, he was too choked up from laughing.

Ginny sat opposite Hermione and Ron. "Red suits you better, Ron."

"You really think so?" he asked and looked at Hermione, who agreed with a nod. "What should I do now?"

"Don't look at me," said Hermione, still laughing. "Better ask, Susan."

"She said it looked great," Ron muttered, blushing furiously. "I think I'm in love."

Harry snorted loudly. "Tell me, Ron, how many times have you fallen in love? I think Susan was the fifth girl you've fallen in love in with. The last time, it was Mandy Brocklehurst. Am I right?"

Ron merely smiled lopsidedly.

George snickered. "Yeah, remember Ron grew a goatee because Mandy was crazy about that sort of thing?"

Ginny giggled. She remembered all too well how Ron looked like a goat with that stupid goatee.

Fred added, "Don't forget the time he wore tight leather pants because Hannah Abbott loves anything in leather!"

This time, everyone in the kitchen, except for Ron, were in stitches from laughing too much.

Ron glowered at them then he turned to Harry. "Hey, I heard that you and Cho are ready to take a trip to the aisle. Is that so?"

Ginny and Hermione looked expectantly at Harry; they waited for his answer but Harry only shook his head laughing, but not denying the accusation.

"Okay, guys, dinner's ready!' Fred cheerfully announced, as he placed the perfectly roasted chicken on the center.

"Time to eat!" they all said in unison. There was a blissful silence as they ate dinner. They were in the midst of eating dessert; when the phone rang, Fred stood up and went to the living room to answer the call. He came back two minutes later.

"Ron, your Susan is on the phone," he said. Ron quickly dashed to the living room. Fred sat down with a wicked smile on his face. George and Harry looked at Fred knowing he was onto something. Three minutes later, Ron returned looking angry at Fred, who was looking like the perfect angel.

"You knuckle head! THAT WAS MOM!" he yelled at Fred. Everyone laughed loudly at this. This time the phone rang again and Ron dashed back to the living room thinking it might be Susan. Fred chuckled softly, as he scooped more chocolate pudding into his mouth.

They were disrupted by a loud tapping at the kitchen window. They all heard the sound. Ginny immediately stood up and opened the window. She shrieked loudly, as three dozens owl of all sorts of sizes and colors swooped inside the not so big kitchen.

They all looked stunned, as the owls surrounded Hermione and in one instant, a rain of letters fell on her lap. A minute later, the owls flew out of the window.

At that moment, Ron entered the room and saw Hermione's lap filled with a pile of letters. "What's all that?"

"Uh-oh!" Ginny said.

Hermione looked at Fred and George who were now grinning wickedly at her.


	3. The Date of the Century

Chapter Three

"Wow, there's probably two hundred letters!" George remarked, looking extremely impressed.

Looking baffled, Ron faced an irritated Hermione, giving her a questioning look. When she remained silent, he turned toFred and George, who were grinning devilishly. "What's going on?"

"It seems our lovely Hermione appealed to a lot of male members from the Lonely Hearts Dating Club she had just joined," answered Fred, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

Ron glanced curiously at Hermione. "I thought you didn't want to go on a blind date, anymore?"

"I know," Hermione muttered, scowling darkly at the twins.

Harry, George, and Ginny all crowded around Hermione, looking curious at the pile of letters.

"Hey!"

Hermione glared at George, who quickly swiped one letter and opened it despite her loud protests. A picture fell from the letter. George quickly picked it up.

"Wow!" George stared at the picture.

Harry, Ginny, and Ron all ran towards George to take a look. "Wow!"

Hermione, despite her annoyance at having her mail opened, was intrigued at their reaction. Out of stubborness, she remained on her seat and did her utmost best not to look interested.

Ginny grabbed the picture and ran towards Hermione, squealing, "Hermione, take a look at this!"

Hermione took the picture, and her eyes widened with amazement. The guy, apparently in his mid-twenties, has raven black hair, with eyes the color of midnight and a model-perfect face. _'He's gorgeous!'_

"Earth to Hermione!" Harry snapped his fingers in front of her face.

She blushed when she realized they were all staring at her.

"Hermione, he's absolutely perfect!" Ginny shrieked with excitement.

"There's still plenty of mails unopened.Open the other letters first and then YOU choose," Fred commented, his face oddly serious.

George scooped all the letters and placed at the center of the table, then he and Ginny began ripping the mails open. Hermione glared at the two for a few seconds, then finally, with an exasperated sigh, reached out to open one herself. She hesitated and stared at the still unopened letter in her hand, feeling nervous and slightly wary at what's inside the letter she was holding.

Harry took one of the already opened letters George had left lying on the table. He scanned the letter and chuckled loudly. "Hermione, you have certainly met your match."

Hermione gave Harry a skeptical look.

"Listen to this," Harry said, as he took the seat next to her and started reading the letter out loud.

"Hi! My name's Marc Elddir. I'm twenty five and works in the Ministry of International Relations. I'm looking for someone who is smart and loyal. I love to read and spends my free time poring over books of great interest."

"Is this guy for real?" Harry said with a grin.

Hermione snatched the letter and glared at Harry. "Just because he sounds like the perfect guy doesn't mean he couldn't be one," she said defensively.

"Hey, here's another good-looking guy!" Ginny announced excitedly. She elbowed her way between Harry and Hermione and showed them the picture.

The guy in the picture was certainly cute, with blonde hair, hazel green eyes, and a killer smile. Ginny and Hermione shared a knowing look. They were clearly enjoying this.

George suddenly burst out laughing. Only Ron glanced curiously at him; the rest were so absorbed with what they were reading to even care. When George continued laughing, Ron finally asked, "What is so funny?"

George snickered loudly, then passed a letter to Ron without a word.

"Blimey!" was all Ron could blurt out. He glanced at Harry and said, "Hey, Harry, look at this!"

"Hand it here, Ron."

Ron threw the letter to Harry, who quickly caught it.

"Whoa!"

"What it it?" Ginny and Hermione asked in unison.

With a wide grin on his face, Harry passed the letter to Hermione. Bewildered, Hermione took the letter and started reading the content. A few seconds later, she began to giggle loudly.

"Ginny," she said, still giggling, "it seems your adorable twin brothers didn't inform you that they also entered your name in the Dating Club. In fact, you've already got one admirer. He even sent his picture for you to see." Hermione tried to stifle her laughter but failed.

Ginny snatched the letter and the picture. Upon seeing the picture, she gasped and turned scarlet.

"Bloody hell!"

Ginny was so furious, her face was purple with rage and she seemed to have trouble speaking. She crumpled the letter and picture, threw it on the floor, then angrily stormed out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, they heard the front door slammed loudly.

Fred picked up the crumpled letter along with the picture. He broke out into loud guffaws, pounding his fist on the table. Harry took another look at the picture and chuckled loudly. They couldn't help it. The guy in the picture was a satyr with balding hair, pudgy-faced and looked about forty years old.

Ron and George read the contents of the crumpled letter, and both convulsed with laughter. George reread the letter, this time, aloud.

Dear Ms. Ginny Weasley,

I saw your picture in the new member's list. It was love at first sight. Can we meet in person?

Your enamored admirer,

Stuart Goldrock

Hermione, still grinning, stared at Marc Elddir's picture which she was clutching in her hand. She sighed. '_He looked way too perfect.'_

"George, was it your fabulous idea?" she asked quietly.

George shook his head firmly. "Fred?"

"Uh-uh. Certainly not me. We only entered your name and that's it," Fred's voice was adamant.

Hermione scooped the letters and stood up.

"Herm, where are you going?" Harry called out to her just when she reached the kitchen's threshold.

"I'll just read this in the privacy of my room." With that she left without another word.

After they heard her going upstairs, Fred rounded on George. "Out with it old man."

George grinned. "Okay, I just thought it would be fun to tease Ginny into believing she was entered too."

Harry chuckled loudly, then he too stood up.

"Where ya going?" asked George.

"I'm going to test drive my newly bought broom, the ThunderStorm."

Ron stood up as well. "I'm going to look for Ginny before trouble finds her." He winked at George. "And don't worry, I won't give away your secret."

The two left the kitchen, leaving the twins behind.

---------------------------------

She kept fidgeting in front of the mirror, looking skeptically at her reflection. Dressed in a velvet camisole and silk organza pants, she thought she looked fine, but she couldn't stop nitpicking at her appearance. It had been three days after the deluge of mails, and she had decided to owl the guy with the killer smile. The guy had owled back, asking they meet in person.

"You look nice."

She turned around. It was Harry. "Thanks." Giving him a small smile, she asked, "Where's everyone?"

"Fred and George are not home yet, " answered Harry. "Ron's out with Susan and Ginny's gone shopping with some of her friends."

She took her bag and headed for the door. "Wish me luck."

Harry lightly kissed the top her head, then whispered, "Have a great time."

She gave him a wave then started walking. Since both of them lived in a Muggle community, she decided it would be better to meet in a Muggle place. They decided to meet at Star Cafe, which was a few blocks away from where she lives. She was ten minutes earlier than their agreed time and chose to sit on the table nearest the door. '_I can make my escape easier if my date turned out to be Mr. Mental.'_

She took out her small compact mirror and carefully studied her reflection. To say she was nervous would be an understatement. She kept drumming her fingers across the table as she wait for her date to appear.

"Ms. Hermione Granger?"

She looked up or rather looked down. '_Oh my . . . he's . . .'_

"Hi, I'm Keith," the man in front of her said, introducing himself. "Can I have a seat?"

_'This is really embarrassing.' _Hermione was flabbergasted. "Uh, sure . . ." she mumbled,"have a seat."

Somebody laughed out loud. Hermione looked around to see who it was. She caught a flash of red. '_It must be Fred and George!' _But the twins were nowhere in sight. '_Hmm, maybe just my imagination.'_

She turned her attention to her date.

"Uhm, I ordered apple pie and moccachino," she told him politely, "Is that fine with you?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, I'm a fruitarian."

She stared at him blankly.

At her blank look, he explained, "We only eat fruits that were hand-picked from a tree or had fallen by itself on the ground."

"What about baked fruits?"

"These fruits have been murdered and were not considered for eating."

"Oh . . ." was all she could say. '_So much for a romantic date.'_

It was eight in the evening when she finally returned home. The lights were on, which means all of them were already home. She decided to take the back door, not wanting to discuss her not so wonderful date. The boys were in the living room, watching a movie. She tiptoed upstairs, trying not to make any noise as possible. She hadn't been inside her room for less than a minute when Ginny came in.

"Well?" Ginny asked,excitedly.

"He was nice and well-read. We had a long interesting talk."

"So does that mean, you're going to see more of Keith?"

"Nope."

"What?" Ginny looked shock at the bluntness of her answer. "Why?"

"Sorry to disappoint you but any romantic notion went out of the window the moment we stood side by side."

"I don't get it."

"Okay, to put it bluntly, the guy's dimunitive."

"Dimunitive in what sense?"

"He's awfully cute but he's only half my size. He conveniently forgot to mention his-"

Hermione wasn't able to finish what she was saying because the door to room opened and Fred, George, Ron and Harry all fell on the floor with a crash.

"Well." Hermione impatiently tapped her foot on the floor.

Fred extricated himself from the tangle of legs and stood up. He put his arm around Hermione and said, "I'm sorry you're date turned out to be a midget."

"Believe me, it was hilarious to see Hermione bending to look at her date eye to eye!" said George, who was completely in stitches. "Fred and I went to see for ourselves how good-looking her date was. We couldn't believe our eyes when we see how tiny he was!"

"Ouch!"

Hermione jabbed George with her elbow. "George, just shut up!"

She glared at the twins. "No wonder, I thought I heard someone laughing. It was you two."

"Don't worry, Hermione, there's still candidate number two, Marc Elddir to reconsider." Fred gave her a brilliant smile. "I was wondering why you didn't chose him in the first place. He's gorgeous, you said so yourself."

"If you don't date him, I will." Ginny threatened, a mischievous glint on her face. "Why are you hesitating?He seemed perfect for you."

"Oh, I don't know," Hermione replied."He seemed so perfect. I just don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to be disappointed."

Hermione flopped on her bed and hugged her throw pillow, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Keith was really nice. Too bad, his height made it impossible for us to be seeing on a regular basis." This time, even she couldn't manage a straight face and burst out laughing. When she told the group about Keith's being a fruitarian, they all howled with laughter.

Thirty minutes later, all of them were on the carpeted floor and looking at the piles of letters Hermione had received throughout this week. They decided to help Hermione select at least five candidates.

"Here's one. Derek Pearson , he looked kinda cute." Ginny waved a picture and Hermione looked at it. The guy on the picture resembled a young Remus Lupin, with sandy brown hair and a nice smile. Hermione has this crazy thing with smile.

She wrote down the name Derek Pearson on the list. Next was George's choice, Xander Anderson, an Australian blond who reminded Hermione of the Muggle Actor in the movie First Knight. Third on the list was hand-picked by Ron. Josh Bagman, nephew of Ludo Bagman, and according to Ron, despite being related to Ludo, was quite cool. She placed Harry's pick, Hans Goshawk fourth on the list, no relation to Miranda Goshawk the author and last Marc Elddir.

"Oh, I didn't knew Lupin is Hermione's type," Fred commented upon seeing Dereks' name on the top of the list.

"If he turned out to be half as nice and intelligent as Lupin then I don't need to look for anybody else," Hermione declared hotly.

"Then why not date Lupin, he's still available," teased George.

"Excuse me, Lupin is twenty years older than Hermione. He maybe the coolest guy but he's totally too old for Hermione. More like a father or an uncle," retorted Ginny.

"That's comforting to hear. I shudder to think if my best friend goes out with Lupin or Sirius," Harry commented seriously. "I'll definitely put my foot down."

"Thanks, Harry. I didn't know you cared," Ron said in a syrupy voice.

"I meant that for Hermione, you prat!" Harry glared at Ron.

There was a knock on the door. They all stopped talking.

"That must be Susan!" Ron ran out of the room faster than you can say Riddikulus.

"MERLIN'S BEARD!"

Harry and the twins scrambled down the stairs to see why Ron sounded so shocked.

Ginny and Hermione went down to check who was the mysterious visitor to cause such a reaction.

"Hermione?"

Hermione could only stare back at the face in front of her.

(to be continued)

(Disclaimer: JKR owns all HP characters. I borrowed the fruitarian lines from the movie Notting Hill. I can't help it. I thought it was really funny.)


End file.
